Just in case you need some writing inspiration. Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last years winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wifes infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldnt.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when youre on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigans teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
This open post was written 6 months, 4 weeks ago
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West Kirby, 90, GB | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)
they are truely amazing :D
they are truely amazing :D
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Ok you were right
UCreateUrReality
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Atlanta, GA, US | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 4 minutes after post)
Hey, at least most of them have good imaginations!
Hey, at least most of them have good imaginations!
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happy post.
ames
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An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 31 minutes after post)
LOL! I love it! I passed it on to a very good friend of mine who is a college English instructor with a note about what she could expect to see in the spring semester! Ha ha!
Our future? Yikes! I think our current president may have had some influence over these budding writers. Ha ha!
Really though these remind me of Jack Handeys Deep Thoughts &perhaps we will end up with some future comedians out of this if they dont take themselves too seriously.
LOL! I love it! I passed it on to a very good friend of mine who is a college English instructor with a note about what she could expect to see in the spring semester! Ha ha!
Our future? Yikes! I think our current president may have had some influence over these budding writers. Ha ha!
Really though these remind me of Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts" ...perhaps we will end up with some future comedians out of this if they don't take themselves too seriously.
An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (2 hours after post)
Oh&that was good&thanks for the laugh! Shivers at #24 though& hmmm..maybe I need to get the power tools back from my ex!!!
Oh...that was good...thanks for the laugh! Shivers at #24 though... hmmm..maybe I need to get the power tools back from my ex!!!
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havent been here for a while but wanted to share a recent experience&
theresape
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Waltham, MA, US | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (2 hours, 52 minutes after post)
These are FABULOUS! As a professional writer, I have observed that one of the hardest things to teach kids is to write metaphors from the heart. Nearly every one of these metaphors is spot-on honest, and most are rollickingly funny as well. I expect most of these writers to be published some day. I am absolutely serious. The next J.D. Salinger has been quoted above.
These are FABULOUS! As a professional writer, I have observed that one of the hardest things to teach kids is to write metaphors from the heart. Nearly every one of these metaphors is spot-on honest, and most are rollickingly funny as well. I expect most of these writers to be published some day. I am absolutely serious. The next J.D. Salinger has been quoted above.
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I just posted a question, and it shows up under my posts, but not on the main page.
slimline2
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Liston, 02, AU | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (3 hours, 31 minutes after post)
love the lame duck..
love the lame duck..
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Did you know there was a so called prophet long before all the other so called prophets almost 6 thousand years ago.
heavencent91
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An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (10 hours after post)
This was amazing! Im definitely sending it to my English teaching friends!
This was amazing! I'm definitely sending it to my English teaching friends!
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AH!
ambivispice
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An Undisclosed Location | 6 months, 4 weeks ago (12 hours, 22 minutes after post)
ja ja ja = love it! (Im in AP Literature, we write essays daily. Im going to try adding in things like this now. ha ha ha)
ja ja ja = love it! (I'm in AP Literature, we write essays daily. I'm going to try adding in things like this now. ha ha ha)
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Guess what!
pseudoniem
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Den Haag, 11, NL | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (3 days, 8 hours after post)
I think most of these writers have a great imagination and will do something impressive at some point in their life. I loved reading them!
I think most of these writers have a great imagination and will do something impressive at some point in their life. I loved reading them!
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Just to get to know all of you a bit better: what is your favourite -ism and why?
fengshuisweetheart
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Grand Rapids, MI, US | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (5 days, 11 hours after post)
Love it!
Where do they submit them? And is it only K-12?
Love it!
Where do they submit them? And is it only K-12?
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How do I stop taking on too much?
fengshuisweetheart
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Grand Rapids, MI, US | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (5 days, 11 hours after post)
Duh high school essays I need sleep.
Duh-- "high school essays" --- I need sleep.
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How do I stop taking on too much?
Mama Bear {Kriss}
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An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (5 days, 11 hours after post)
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 18 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
In country where George W. Bush is president, there is no surprise anyone can write: “The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30”. I find the whole thing highly amusing! Thanks for sharing!
In country where George W. Bush is president, there is no surprise anyone can write: “The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30”. I find the whole thing highly amusing! Thanks for sharing!
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 17 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
Very funny list of stuff. Thanks for sharing. # 16 is great. So unassuming. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Very funny list of stuff. Thanks for sharing. # 16 is great. So unassuming. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 16 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
These arent necessarily bad metaphors/similes. In fact, a certain level of untapped genius is evident in them. You know, like that youd find in an intro to creative writing class.
These aren't necessarily bad metaphors/similes. In fact, a certain level of untapped genius is evident in them. You know, like that you'd find in an intro to creative writing class.
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 13 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
the boat that floated like a bowling ball wouldnt is indeed a paraphrased douglas adams line. He wrote something like the spaceships hung in the sky like bricks dont .
the boat that floated like a bowling ball wouldn't is indeed a paraphrased douglas adams line. He wrote something like "the spaceships hung in the sky like bricks don't".
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 12 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
Although these quotes may have been collected by English teachers, the author of this article certainly isnt(s)he doesnt know the difference between a simile and a metaphor!
Although these quotes may have been collected by English teachers, the author of this article certainly isn't--(s)he doesn't know the difference between a simile and a metaphor!
An Unknown Location | 5 days, 6 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
amusing !
amusing !
gbbs_
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An Unknown Location | 5 days, 4 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
lol lol lol lol lol
lol lol lol lol lol
jcl2002200
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An Unknown Location | 5 days, 3 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
These arent from real high school students. These are from a Washington Post contest to come up with bad metaphors. So these are written by adults trying to write like high school students with poor english writing skills like a foreign person who also has bad english writing skills, but in his native language, not english.
These aren't from real high school students. These are from a Washington Post contest to come up with bad metaphors. So these are written by adults trying to write like high school students with poor english writing skills like a foreign person who also has bad english writing skills, but in his native language, not english.
An Unknown Location | 2 days, 4 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
I must a few stress points already made, much like these children do. The coherence of the writing points toward either revision, or flat out compilation. The voice invoked is singular, as are the comedic devices. This is just brilliant, Douglas Adams would be proud. I would guess the humor is British, as it has the trademark wit and sarcasm, as well as timing, employed by the ordinary for the ordinary, concealed within run on sentences, and half completed thoughts (most of which scorn cultural nitwits).
I said this, but it means that. Brilliant. Jack Handy indeed.
I must a few stress points already made, much like these 'children' do. The coherence of the writing points toward either revision, or flat out compilation. The voice invoked is singular, as are the comedic devices. This is just brilliant, Douglas Adams would be proud. I would guess the humor is British, as it has the trademark wit and sarcasm, as well as timing, employed by the ordinary for the ordinary, concealed within run on sentences, and half completed thoughts (most of which scorn cultural nitwits).
An Unknown Location | 1 day, 23 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
i dont necessarily believe that these kids were doing this on purpose. as a 15 year old girl in high school, in an advanced program called IB, kids are dumb and will use anologies/ metaphors like this and we cant spell that great yet we make great grades. the kids who wrote these were just writing anything to make the assignment go faster b/c they could probably care less.
i dont necessarily believe that these kids were doing this on purpose. as a 15 year old girl in high school, in an advanced program called IB, kids are dumb and will use anologies/ metaphors like this and we cant spell that great yet we make great grades. the kids who wrote these were just writing anything to make the assignment go faster b/c they could probably care less.
bigban
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An Unknown Location | 1 day, 19 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
An Unknown Location | 1 day, 14 hours ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)
These were funny! But many of them are not from high school students. Someone pointed out that some may come from a Washington Post contest. Ive seen others in the Bulwer-Litton contest for the worst opening sentence of a novel. The contest isnt about novels that have actually been written, just for opening sentences. Check out http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ for more fun.
It really doesnt matter that all the entries in this blog arent from high school students. Its still a fun read.
These were funny! But many of them are not from high school students. Someone pointed out that some may come from a Washington Post contest. I've seen others in the Bulwer-Litton contest for the "worst opening sentence of a novel." The contest isn't about novels that have actually been written, just for opening sentences. Check out http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ for more fun.
It really doesn't matter that all the entries in this blog aren't from high school students. It's still a fun read.
An Unknown Location | 19 hours, 34 minutes ago (6 months, 4 weeks after post)
theyre all similes though haha not metaphors.
they're all similes though haha not metaphors.
mannertin
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An Unknown Location | 16 hours, 57 minutes ago (6 months, 4 weeks after post)
All of these were part of a contest put on by the Washington Post. I dont have the link, but I ran across these on another website that had the link to the Post. They are not from high school students.
All of these were part of a contest put on by the Washington Post. I don't have the link, but I ran across these on another website that had the link to the Post. They are not from high school students.
Knowsthedifferencebe
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An Unknown Location | 12 hours, 36 minutes ago (6 months, 4 weeks after post)
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM these are similes NOT metaphors. hello?????????????????????
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM these are similes NOT metaphors. hello?????????????????????
jenns112
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An Unknown Location | 12 hours, 32 minutes ago (6 months, 4 weeks after post)